i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
