I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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