yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
