Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
