I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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