Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And then he peed in my hair
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