dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
