I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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