Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
