Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
