I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I currently don't understand fingers.
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