dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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