He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
