i'm signing you up for texting rehab
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
