His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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