I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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