we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
