I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
they need to just BURY HIM!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
