i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
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The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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