I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
