girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
