Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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