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i barfeds in our rink
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
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