Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
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You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
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Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.