My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
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she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
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Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?