I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
