do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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