He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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