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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"

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• (716): View more from New York

  He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Thats a chance were just gonna have to take

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  You went to a drug deal in a onesie.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened

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• (530): View more from California

  What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.

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• (916): View more from California

  hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.

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• (914): View more from New York

  The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!

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