Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
