I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
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Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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