i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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