You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
