i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
