ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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