Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
