Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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