you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize