We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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