I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
