Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
