I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
