idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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