If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
