did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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