I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
