im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
