If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
