Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize