Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
