If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
