Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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