There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
