She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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