i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
