is your mom at the bar?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize