despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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