Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
