Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
