YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
