Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
